The exchange of saying to someone you fully complete me is simply saying that without you I simply cannot survive.
It’s such a heavy burden to project upon someone else that your happiness depends upon them and the freewill choices they make. It also says a lot about where you put your power in the relationship dynamics of connection.
The initial relationships we form in the world as children really do set the tone in how we view love throughout our adult lives. It can be a healthy exchange, yet in all matter of things in life, it has a polarised side where it can be unhealthy and unbalanced.
For most of the planet, humanity for that matter is we see the world of love through the lens in how we have been conditioned to see it.
It’s not appropriate to show emotion, as it shows vulnerability and weakness…
Have you encountered this?
Or maybe you have been smothered in love where you have no personal boundaries and often over share your emotions in too much information giving leading people to not know how to respond or interact with you?
Maybe you find yourself emotionally unavailable, or simply struggle to let people into your heart for fear of getting hurt or feeling abandoned.
Love is not some holy grail quest you must seek out in order to be fulfilled by externalities, like what is witnessed in our most intimate unions with a lover, scared other. Relationships fail often because too much emphasis is placed on one individual being solely responsible for the happiness of the union.
Possibly you have witnessed or even encountered a relationship dynamic where partners, lovers, or sacred others show up in a parent-like state parenting you in the union…
This unhealthy exchange where codependency rules supreme, lack of self-trust is evident and the need for unconscious control, enabling habitual habits that often are toxic and often leaving one or both individuals in a loop of chaotic exchanges where someone simply wants to be right and the other wants to be validated.
All human beings want precisely the same exchanges, to be seen, to be heard, to be wanted and to know they are enough.
When an individual doesn’t trust the choices they are making they simply cannot trust another person. On any level.
When we don’t trust ourselves we create an illusion that how others show up for us or relate to us with behavior, beliefs, and connection it must mean something about who we are. When it’s further from the truth. Its the ego that is creating an illusion to justify they exchange by perpetuating the exchange.
In truth amongst all of this illusion in the false ideology of something that is not real, individuals create a belief system to counter engage with that by accepting this outward projection of connection must mean abandoning self in order to receive such love and connection, validation, and have that fairytale ending.
Conscious love, on the other hand never asks anything of anyone other than to simply just be. Be yourself, be present and don’t think for a second you need to be who you are not in order to be initiated into such conscious loving exchange.
Conscious love is not a unrequited love, it is the purest love to exchange in and with.
Its a practicing of viewing relationships personally, interpersonally and professionally as a full space of safety for mutual sustaining loving evolution.
No competition, not alter egos, no need for control or manipulation, deceit or abandoning of self.
Conscious love is affirming, healthy and grounded. Its saying I want to see you thrive and i would be honoured to love you in this expansive space of full authenticity to evolve being all of you and nothing less.
It’s not about your partner being your parent, your lover is not responsible for your happiness. That role and responsibility always has and always will lie with you.
Read that again, your partner is not a parent and is not responsible for your happiness.
Your partner, lover, sacred other is not your keeper, gatekeeper to making choices in life. You do not need permission from them to live life on your own terms. Nor do they need it to form you. In healthful boundaries and exchanges, you both have agreed on exchanges on what is healthful as you grow together, without ever compromising or sacrificing each other along the way.
Conscious love is fully accepting we all are inherently imperfectly perfect, trying to find our way back deeper into ourselves. Unlearning the world’s imprinting of fear and untruths about how powerful love truly is.
So what does this mean? This means we all step into unions regardless of how much intimacy is present with trauma, with our own unresolved pains and entanglements with simply the presence of love to witness it all. No nepotism, no spiritual nepotism either. No one is greater than the next.
It’s affirming that together we intensionally hold space for each other to heal, through the power of love. Creating a container to be more of self, never dimming each other’s light or capacity to shine bright.
Its when two people show up for each other, choosing to celebrate each other never tolerate each other by daily committed intentions to give each other the full self-expressive freedom to thrive in the power of love, for we are love.
The full autonomy to explore every nook and cranny within the entire conscious connection shared and simply love each other without limitation, oppression, suffocation, judgment or conditioning on any level.
Thats a powerful love to exchange in and thrive with.
It’s a flame that burns bright and dances with the light. No one on earth is here to ever complete you, beacuse simply placed you were never broken or incomplete in the first instance. That’s just a story the world has placed upon you, labeled you with.
Love speaks in all capcities, all geograpgical locations, all languages, all energy exchages.
Love says, hey you…I see you. I see all of you and I’m going to love all of you. Not just the parts you only want the world to see. That is a potent powerful love to share in.
So, in a moment of refelction. Pause and see where you love from.
It’s it in limitation, exacerbation and dependency of your happiness being projected upon the choices of another?
Beacuse if it is, set yourself free. By doing so you set all of those you love that is entangled to an outcome rather than a universal loving expressive exchange freely.
Accept in knowing you now know loves language is not what you have been sold, its accepting that love is not about control. You cannot control something that was never yours for the taking.
Its is yours for the immersing, exchanging and freely gifting as you receive in equal measure.
When the need for control dissipates, you can open yourself up to questioning where you invest your love and in what flow it arrives in. It’s either in contraction with manipulation or its free to roam in hearts truest velocity.
Where ever mistrust may have arrived, you are sage in knowing how to process the wounding to love so you cease seeing it outwardly unhealthfully and in return gift it home within the self so you can dance with the embers of its eternal flame in the most intimate unions to come.
Starting with the union to self, in the power of love.