Our initial connection to the feminine is through our birth mothers, from conception through to invitro absorbed exchanges. We are receiving her perception and context for the feminine well before we have ever taken our first breath of air within the physical lungs.
We actually unconsciously re-create relationships where that trauma (and those dynamics) are relived. Wounds show up in various capacities, not always bleedingly apparent. Many individuals think, feel, and believe what they deem as healthy is actually trauma reliving and playing out in their lives form learned exchanges like from judgemental mothers.
When an individual is judgemental externally, they are in fact equally judgemental of self, by deflecting any sense of self-connection by finding rapport in demining or belittling another. It may read harsh, but that’s the reality of the fact. When an individual doesn’t connect to self in healing their own wounding, trauma, or toxicity, they project it outwardly upon others.
This acid becomes so chaotic that it often burns the individual.
We literally act out what we have observed in our lives, so when we see judgemental exchanges, aspects of our own identity act out the same. That is until we become consciously aware of the exchanges and decide to break the chain of trauma by healing it.
Its somewhat likened to why it is so hard to do things you know you should be doing like eating well, self-care, good sleeping patterns, exercise, movement, mindfulness…
When this is absent from our core influencers in our lives like parents, we simply dont have a strong emphasis on this exchange. If we dont witness self-love, self-care, self- value, loving disciplines for a balanced life with beliefs, values, and boundaries, it will feel awkward in adult life until you unlearn the trauma and align back into a real sense of self detached to unbalanced learned behaviors witnessed from judgment, dis-ease and disconnection.
It’s basically learning how to reparent yourself. Reparenting is not always easy, especially if you are writing a new map to go from as you navigate each day. Its total unchartered waters, that simply invites you to dissolve in the limitations of old as you sustainably write a life by design in the new.
Reparenting is about practice, baby steps, commitment to self one day at a time.
So as you are learning to reparent yourself healthfully, know that you are healing not only yourself but the very linage you descend from as you rewrite history by the value you place in ceasing to be wounded, traumatized. You are shifting into being self healer, learning the art of self-led physical human mastery.
Here is to you healing the Judgement you have with self or you project outwardly at others. Knowing once you heal your own inner critic, you cease the need to be a critic of others as your focus shifts to celebrating others as you would celebrate yourself.
In heart & healing